Minggu, 09 Juli 2017

Assignment : Describing a Line Graph

at Juli 09, 2017
In English 3 (Business Communication), we study the subject with the goal of doing business with English-speaking countries, or with companies located outside the English-speaking world but which nonetheless use English as a shared language. Business communication can also be said to be the way employees, management and administration communicate in order to reach their organizational goals. In this posting, we are going to learn how to describe a line graph.

Please check out the video below about how to describing a line graph







DESCRIBING A LINE GRAPH



Planning Stage
Time/ Tense
2011 – 2014 / Simple Past
Topic
Number of tourism destinations visiting by students
General Comment
London – increased gradually
Paris - increased and decreased at the end of the period
Rome – fluctuated over the period
Details
London – gradually increased over the period and reach about 19000 students in 2014, become the highest number of students visiting in 2014
Paris- the lowest number of visitors in 2011 with 10000 students and increased sharply until 20000 students in 2013 but declined slightly at the end of the period.
Rome - the highest number of students visiting in the beginning of the period fell dramatically but thereafter rose sharply until 2013 and dropped slightly at the end of the period

The line graph illustrates the number of student visitors in London, Paris, and Rome between 2011 and 2014. 

By looking at the line graph, one thing that clearly stands out is the number of visitors in London increased slightly and gradually over the period. Meanwhile, the number of students visiting Paris rose sharply for two beginning years and fell in the last year. While the student visitors in Rome fluctuated from time to time.

In 2011, the number of students visiting London is approximately 15000 students and started increased gradually until around 19000 students in 2014 and became the highest amount of student visitors among these three countries.

Paris had the lowest number of student visitors with about 10000 in 2011 rose significantly until 2013 reach 20000 students and became the highest number of visitors at that time. This was followed by a slight dropped in 2014 with numbers about 18000 students.

On the other hand, Rome experienced a fluctuated trend over the period. Rome with 18000 students as the destination highest visitors in 2011 fell dramatically for a year and increased sharply in the next year. Then declined slightly in 2014 to a little above 15000 visitors became the lowest among other countries.

17 komentar:

  1. Hi, Diana! You did a good job and I like your writing, but I think you should use justify, so it will be nice to see. Then, use 13.000 rather than 13000. Keep it up!

    BalasHapus
  2. Nice diana! I like your writing and it's easy to understand. For suggestion, I think you can choose the match colour for your tabel. So, the combination of the colour match with the theme. Overall, great job! Keep improving.

    BalasHapus
  3. Hi Diana! Your writing is very detailed and you did a good job in explaining the data. However, on the fourth paragraph just after the year 2011 I think you can add conjunction or something so people would not mistake it. I think that's all from me. Keep up the good work!

    BalasHapus
  4. Hello Diana! What a beautiful peace of art you made! However you might want to reconsider saying this :'Rome with 18000 students as the destination highest visitors in 2011 fell dramatically for a year and increased sharply in the next year. ' as it is hard to understand for me hehe

    BalasHapus
  5. Hi, Diana. I have read your post about describing a line graph and it is well organized. However, for the first sentence in paragraph 3, you should change '... London is ...' to '... London was ...' bcs it's past tense form. Overall, it is such a great one. Keep improving, Diana!

    BalasHapus
  6. -Here is Rifky Dwi Hartono-
    Dear Diana,
    I have read your article completely, and I think this is one of good example of line graph analysis. You have made the structure of text well, and the grammar also has in structured. However, there is a bit error that should be noticed. First, in general comments, specific in Paris part. Based on the graph, it will be better if you replace the word 'increased and decreased at the end of the period' to 'fluctuates'. In addition, please change use 13,000 rather than 13000. Overall its really good example of line graph analysis article. Keep writing!

    BalasHapus
  7. Hello Diana,
    after reading your kind of ielts writting task 1, I personally think that it is good bcs you've point out main things from the trend. Well done!

    BalasHapus
  8. Hi, Diana! You have to know that it is hard to find a mistake from your writing. Yes, I do like your report becouse you made it appropriate enough ;) But finally, I found one suggestion, yaaaay!!

    Please take a look at the first sentence on the third paragpah. You used '...started increased', but I think you have to change it become '...started increasing' because of it is gerund (there are 2 verbs) or you can make it like '...started to increase...'

    Overall, I like your writing, Diana! keep it up!

    BalasHapus
  9. hello diana! i just saw your writing and i think it is clear enough. but i think, i found a lil mistake of yours. in the second paragraph, it is better not started with conjunctuion word 'by' because it is the first starting paragraph. overall, you did a good job!

    BalasHapus
  10. Hi Diana!
    I think it's clear enough and I am enjoying reading your paragraph.
    keep it up :D

    BalasHapus
  11. Hey Diana!
    I have read yours and I found it simple yet clear to read. Your word preferences are in the right portion. All the suggestions and corrections are already delivered by the others. Overall, well done~~ Thank you for inspiring :)

    BalasHapus
  12. Dear Diana,
    I think you might want to reconsider using the words 'two beginning years'. I think you were trying to say 'the first two years'. It's easier for me to understand as a reader but sorry if I've mistaken it.

    Your overall writing is impressive. Wish you best of lucks!

    Warmest regards,

    BalasHapus
  13. Dear Diana, I think your writting is very detail and easy to understand. But I think it will be better if you use 15.000 than 15000. Overall it's a good writting :) keep it up !

    BalasHapus
  14. Hey, Diana! only small mistake I found, when you use "But" to start a sentence which I think it would be better if you change it! good luck!

    BalasHapus
  15. Woaaa you describe it such a pro diana
    I can understand it easily

    Since the experts 👆 already mention what I wanna say
    The suggestion from me is just the sentence "visiting London is approximately 15000" much better i think if you change it to be "visiting London was approximately 15000."
    and dont forget to put comma on the thousand number
    ehehehe

    Regards
    Dwen 😘

    BalasHapus
  16. Dear Diana,
    I would like to give my appreciation as you have done it well. I've nothing to suggest you because the way you describe the line graph and your vocabulary is really good.
    Can't wait to see your next post, Diana :)

    BalasHapus
  17. Planning Stage

    Time/ Tense : 2011 – 2014 / Simple Past
    Topic : Number of tourism destinations visiting by students
    General Comment : London – increased gradually
    Paris - increased and decreased at the end of the
    period
    Rome – fluctuated over the period
    Details : London – gradually increased over the period and reach about
    19000 students in 2014, become the highest number
    of students visiting in 2014
    Paris - the lowest number of visitors in 2011 with 10000
    students and increased sharply until 20000 students in
    2013 but declined slightly at the end of the period.
    Rome - the highest number of students visiting in the
    beginning of the period fell dramatically but thereafter
    rose sharply until 2013 and dropped slightly at the end
    of the period


    The line graph illustrates the number of student visitors in London, Paris, and Rome between 2011 and 2014.

    Looking at the line graph, one thing that clearly stands out is the number of visitors in London increased slightly and gradually over the period. Meanwhile, the number of students visiting Paris rose sharply in the first two years and fell in the last year. While the student visitors in Rome fluctuated from time to time.

    In 2011, the number of students visiting London was approximately 15.000 students and started to increase gradually until around 19.000 students in 2014 and became the highest amount of student visitors among these three countries.

    Paris had the lowest number of student visitors with about 10.000 in 2011, rose significantly until 2013 reach 20.000 students and became the highest number of visitors at that time. This was followed by a slight dropped in 2014 with numbers about 18.000 students.

    On the other hand, Rome experienced a fluctuated trend over the period. Rome with 18.000 students as the destination highest visitors in 2011 fell dramatically in 2012 and increased sharply in 2013 . Then declined slightly in 2014 to a little above 15.000 visitors became the lowest among other countries.

    BalasHapus